I miss you. You were my best friend. You know some to all of my deepest secrets. I've never been as true to someone as I was to you. We haven't been seeing each other at all. While you're here in town, I thought we would see each other. I want to know how you are, how your school life's like. I remember all those days we spent laughing and laughing, but as time goes we keep drifting away. I could come over to your house but I won't. I just wish you'd want to see me as much.

I miss you

i met a lady who was open to everyone about her extensions. when asked why she did it, she simply answered "i did these for myself. if i don't make myself happy, then who will?"

it was a wake up call for me. 
i spend a lot of my time just waiting for someone and depending on them to come and turn things around for me. when in fact, it shouldn't be like that at all. what she said made it clear to me that you should be in charge of how you feel. if you want to be happy then you have to make it happen yourself. i mean, you're the only one who knows you best and the only one you can trust to not disappoint you in the end. 



i didn't say anything afterwards but i hope she knows how much she's done for me.
i'll never forget what she said.

I think people have pushed me way too far this time. I'm tired. of people, of faking the sympathy, of everything cause it all feels so fake and dreary. I feel like I've had just about enough. i don't know how much longer i can do this. i don't know if this patience could last forever. I don't know how long this runaway blog of mine could still be able to comfort me

Fuck My Whole Entire Life

I'm tired. I just want to have a really happy life and I wanna feel like everything is good and God loves me

Misunderstood

I'm tired. Lately, all I have been every time I'm at school is unhappy. The new schedule has been torturing me. Science for four consecutive days each week, and then there's Math, and Business studies, and so many other classes that are so unbearable. I feel my insides dying every time I sit through each class. But those lessons are the least of my problems there. I'm always at war with myself at school, everything is just so bad behind those walls lately. I'm getting sick of seeing those people I call my friends. They're not my friends, they're never there. Everything is just so dreadful. I wish I had someone, anyone, who would listen to me. Who would listen and not judge, and not tell me to not to judge. Just listen and be on my side. And say nice things to me about the whole situation. I need comfort. But no. No one understands me. Especially my parents, they don't understand about this whole school issue I have. And they're always pushing me, especially my dad. He keeps reminding me about a lot of things. Things like being independent and shit. I don't need that. I already know what and what not to do. He's just so scared of me failing. He's so scared of me doing the wrong things, he's so scared I'd disappoint him. Why can't he just let me be? Out of all people, I think he's the one who doesn't understand me the most.

I don't know what to do anymore