"It sucks you know. I just want to feel something."
I thought I'd give it another chance and that this time things could be different. But you really can't fake how you feel about someone. No matter how much you force yourself to.
I desperately wanted to fall in love again and be with someone. I didn't want to be by myself. But I ended up feeling more alone than ever.
Now I don't know what to do.~
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Gone, Gone, Gone.
Everything is so confusing. I'm so excited to leave, yet at the same time I'm scared that I'm gonna miss this place more than I can handle.
I never thought I'd cry but it's all I've been doing these past two days. It's sad seeing other people leave, but it's another thing to be the one who's leaving. It's also the scariest feeling in the world to realize that you're parting with everything around you that's familiar, and that you're about to face the biggest change in your life.
I never really understood how it's okay for two people to live in the same town and not see each other for months but it's seemingly a lot sadder when they're miles apart. Some people think it's silly, I thought it was too. But not anymore. Being on opposite sides of the world with the people you love does not feel silly and it really isn't the same thing as living in the same place but not seeing each other. It's actually quite depressing cause you know you can't just get inside your car and drive to their place like you once could.
When I saw one of my closest friends suddenly burst into tears in front of my doorstep, it nearly broke my heart. I spent the rest of the night and the following day locking myself in my room, listening to music that made me want to jump off a bridge while going through old pictures - which just made me want to jump even more.
But I know it's going to be okay. "We'll all float on okay". I believe that. I know we'll all do good in our lives. Sure, I'll miss them. I'll miss everyone I love. But it's all going to be okay. I may not always remember that but deep down I'll always know that it's true.
:)
I never thought I'd cry but it's all I've been doing these past two days. It's sad seeing other people leave, but it's another thing to be the one who's leaving. It's also the scariest feeling in the world to realize that you're parting with everything around you that's familiar, and that you're about to face the biggest change in your life.
I never really understood how it's okay for two people to live in the same town and not see each other for months but it's seemingly a lot sadder when they're miles apart. Some people think it's silly, I thought it was too. But not anymore. Being on opposite sides of the world with the people you love does not feel silly and it really isn't the same thing as living in the same place but not seeing each other. It's actually quite depressing cause you know you can't just get inside your car and drive to their place like you once could.
When I saw one of my closest friends suddenly burst into tears in front of my doorstep, it nearly broke my heart. I spent the rest of the night and the following day locking myself in my room, listening to music that made me want to jump off a bridge while going through old pictures - which just made me want to jump even more.
But I know it's going to be okay. "We'll all float on okay". I believe that. I know we'll all do good in our lives. Sure, I'll miss them. I'll miss everyone I love. But it's all going to be okay. I may not always remember that but deep down I'll always know that it's true.
:)
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